"Its a new year,new beginnings,new resolutions and above all,new approach to life's many challenges. Now I'm determined as never before to approach the issue of my hubby's bestie with a doggedness and desperation of a woman on the verge of losing her marriage. I've so chosen to separate my hubby of a year and six months from the grips of Felix who I've come to loathe so much because of his bad influence on him and I know if immediate action isn't taken,hmmm,only God knows what might happen next .
I may sound extremely ungrateful,if not overly heartless,especially as he was the one who introduced us in the first place. You see,Felix and I met at a mutual friend's birthday party three years ago and I can emphatically say here that he had his eyes on me all through the party. As I made to leave after I'd partied hard,he cornered me and bluntly made known his wish to have me as his girl. I gently turned him down but promised to be good friends with him. "How about that?" I asked with a smile.
He rolled his eyes and laughed. "It's all right then. I mean,it's better than not having you in my life at all."
We both laughed. As it later turned out Felix had a good sense of humour. We became quite close and I got to know about his fiancee in the states. Men though! If only you had seen the love in his eyes and deep yearning when he had asked me to be his girl at the party. One would have thought he was single and searching,not engaged and about to be married!
All the while he always gisted me about his childhood friend whom he loved as a brother. According to him Taiwo was his bestie and though he wasn't in the country as at that time,they were very much in touch."He can't wait to meet you Agnes. He knows about you."he said.
"Really?"
"O yes..and do you know what? He's single!"
"Duh," I made a comical face at him," so?"
"You and him.." he winked,trailing off.
"Naughty you." I playfully spanked him,laughing heartily.
True to his words Taiwo arrived Nigeria two months later and oh boy,did we fall in love at first sight! He was the most handsome man I had ever set my eyes on,so soft-spoken and courteous.
Six months into the relationship he proposed and I readily accepted. We got married thereafter and I moved into his home -a beautiful,elegantly furnished mansion. Felix and his wife always stopped by our place to visit and we in turn visited their home too. Sometimes we all went out together -The cinema,shopping malls,parks and parties. We were all happy,had no iota of reason to be sad at all.
Except when Taiwo began to keep late nights. In the beginning I wasn't really worried. I just felt it was the usual boys thingy.. what was wrong if a woman indulged her husband just a bit?
Then it became a trifle unsettling. Taiwo would return home reeking of alcohol and when I demanded to know why,he would slur,"Honey,Felix...I..I..was with Felix baby.."
It became an everyday thing,the hanging out with Felix. From one bar to the other they partied,lavished money on expensive wine.
Okay,i decided to approach Felix. Enough was enough. Guess what he said?
"Agnes!" he threw his head back and laughed mirthlessly,"Why do you speak like this?I'm very surprised,honestly..you mean I shouldn't hang out with my guy?! Come on what is this?"
I wasn't prepared for this reaction at all. I stared at him,dumbfounded.
"You should even be lucky your husband doesn't womanise like me. You would have cried a river then!"
I left him dejected. The drama continued and deteriorated.
Taiwo began to sleep out our matrimonial home!
It always did break my heart to see him stagger home in the mornings looking unkempt and disoriented ." Baby why are you doing this to us?" I cried one day when I saw how drunk he was,on the brink of passing out by the doorstep.
"I"m sorry hun..Felix -"
"Felix again?! " I interrupted him angrily. "Are you a baby that Felix should dictate how you live your life?? Tell me Taiwo!"
I stormed out of the house and went to report to Vivienne,Felix's wife who ran a big Spa in town. She had this uninterested look on her face as I narrated what was going on. At the end she held my eyes and said quietly, "I don't have any issues with my husband Felix. If you have any qualm with Taiwo,please iron it out with him and leave my family out of it."
"How can you say a thing like that.."
She turned away, a form of dismissing gesture. I took my leave.
The last straw that eventually broke the camel's back was the text message I stumbled across on his phone one night he returned drunk again. It was from Felix. It read thus :-
"O boy,how now?Don't tell me you didn't like Christabel. I told you she was a sweet gurl,didn't I? I know your taste man and as a friend I make sure you always get them petite, fair and busty,lol.
8pm at Alison bar."
I deleted the text message fuming in anger. I took out the battery of my husband's phone to make sure he got no call from the devil that evening. He soon slept off after I served him dinner and he probably got no call from his friend.
Well,it's been like that for me. Felix has turned my life into a living hell. My once loving husband has become an alcoholic and chronic womaniser.
But hey -good news! It's a new year. I ain't taking this sh*t no more. I'm taking the bull by the horn.. taking that bold step that might haunt me forever,but I really don't care. It's either my marriage or Felix. I plan to make his life miserable,make him and his family cry as i've countlessly cried. Yes,he got us together but does that give him the right to separate us?
You have read my story. You have felt my pain. Would you call me names when I'm done with Felix ? Though I don't give a hoot if you did. If he ever lives to tell the story after i'm done,all good. He's stinkingly rich,yeah? He's influential, yeah? But these won't count when hungry, angry thugs throw spine-breaking punches,jaw-splitting uppercut and eye-blinding slaps at him,right? "
Please don't do anything funny just Becos you want to pay Felix back for all his wrongs.Be wise and prayerful woman and watch what God will do for you.
ReplyDeleteU are ryt on track Agnes,in fact you too waste time sef.Me I won't be that patient o.Because he was the one who introduced shud he also be one to scatter us?Some men are simply like this.
ReplyDeleteWho cares a rat ass about a drunken spouse who doesn't know himself?While he's busy drinking himself to stupor i'll be busy strategising on his bank account!
ReplyDeleteMy dear plz bring the matter before your in-lawz.it is in times like diz we need dem.Pls do diz before it gets too late.
ReplyDeleteSorry to say your husband na mumu.
ReplyDeleteWhy are women so quick to blame the decadence of their marriage on their husbands?Look inward,you may have been unconsciously pushing him away.stop pointing accusing fingers at poor Felix,if anything bad happens to him you'll only have yourself to blame.
ReplyDeleteIt is silly to blame others for your husband's weakness. He should be man enough to resist peer pressure and influence. Concentrate your energy on addressing this obvious weakness and immaturity and stop blaming Felix. He is a weak man susceptible to manipulation and peer pressure. You are indeed lucky that he is being influenced by a close family friend (if not Felix, someone else would). Alcohol and womanising are just symptoms of a more major underlying problem (his weakness and low self-esteem). Keep an eye on the real target (your husband) and leave Felix alone. S
ReplyDeleteMen are just like this, na Waao!
ReplyDelete