Sunday, December 29, 2013

"THE FOOD ROBOT" (REAL LIFE STORY)

Hi y'all! You're good I guess  #Broadgrin# I just returned from Church service and chillaxing over a bottle of cold coke(my addiction! *rolling my eyes*)in my room. Right now i'm thinking of the startling blue "beetle" car that I saw on my way home parked outside a storey building and it has somewhat triggered the thoughts of one of my childhood experiences i'm about to share with you now.
As I continue to write I have this quirky  tilt to my lips borne out of the  pure,pure mischief I so exuded while growing up. As a young girl of 8 and a primary three pupil of Gaius Obaseki school, I had many friends in my class amongst whom were Adesuwa Obaseki(my bestie),Adesuwa Uzamere,Ngozi Ashinze,Faith Ogbu,Anthony Areghan and Maimunatu Sanni. These were my main 'homies' and 'co mischief-makers! 
As usual my dad would go drop me at school in the mornings in his blue 'beetle' and his official driver would come pick me up after close. I usually preferred my dad doing the school runs though,because he always did stop by at Ehigiator Supermarket situated around 1st East circular road,or Exclusive stores on sapele road for Ice cream and their famous Meat pie of all times! On the way home as he drove,i would wave at passersby with a huge grin,and sometimes had this facial expression of "You don't remember me?!" and again wave at them vigorously...hahahaha! Most of them always did wave back at the little girl sitting at the passengers' side of the blue 'beetle', smiling profusely.i still wonder till today why these strangers waved back! Did they just want to indulge the lil pretty girl in her father's car or they actually did think I knew them from somewhere?! 
  One day when the girls got talking in the class room during break,Ngozi who was renowned for splitting our ears with heavy 'bubbles' came up with something new again. Said she was born in California in Spain! 
"Ngozi,i thought you said it was St philomena in Benin city the other day?!" Faith frowned. She looked at me. I looked at her too. She turned to Adesuwa obaseki who as well turned to Adesuwa Uzamere. We all sighed as we listened on. She narrated how she only returned to Nigeria when she turned 2. A deep sigh wrenched from the depth of us,each thinking why we hadn't been birthed in California in Spain!
The following day our Class teacher,Mrs Ubanatu (my very loving and strict teacher! Jeez!)before lectures told us to tell the class what we had for breakfast. I stood up and muttered,"Bread and eggs with Tea." 
"Good! Next!" she pointed at Maimunatu(learnt she soon married when we gained admission into secondary school a few years later). She stood and said,"Bread and butter."
"Good! Next." She gestured at Faith. Faith said she had fried plantain and eggs. Mrs Ubanatu went ahead and pointed Owa who slowly and quietly muttered,"Eba..."
The whole class "awwwwwwd" and "ahhhhhhhd" and our Class teacher turned to us sternly. Instantly we kept mute. Then it was Ngozi's turn. She pursed her lips,boldly and in high pitch,said"Fried rice,salad and Chicken!"
"Good...next...."
Do you know before close time Ngozi fell ill and started to vomit. Jeeez,she vomited huge lumps of Eba with Ogbono soup! We were all over her in sympathy but truth was we had seen the lumps and were actually glad we did. The next day we taunted her over it but trust Ngo to come up with something. I think she said it had been the previous day's meal! Hahahahahah..
When I got home I began to think of my own "bubbles" (fibs) and instantly an idea popped. What if I told my mum I wanted Jollof rice and Chicken in my lunch flask and told my school mates that it was our Robot who prepared it! Yeah,robot...the new terminator-like robot who prepared our meals instantly upon taking orders! Fabulous Idea,amazing one...
My mum who had my eye as her apple,obliged me and gbaaaam -my flask was fully and richly loaded with Jollof rice,Chicken and even plantain to top it. I went to school happily and announced the new Food Robot in our house that prepared whichever meal you demanded! I excitedly watched their eyes go round in shock and then finally in delight. 
"Where did your parents get the Food Robot from?!" Faith squealed in delight.
"This is wonderful!" Adesuwa Uzamere hugged me.
"I'll tell my dad when he returns from France to get one for me too!" Ngozi exclaimed in obvious
amazement.
"Wow,I love this Robot!" Adesuwa hugged me fiercely.
I gingerly opened the flask and revealed the sumptuous meal. They sighed and swallowed. I smiled and invited them to come join me.
As our driver came to pick me after school,Ngozi threw at me to tell the Food Robot to prepare spaghetti and Chicken tomorrow! My heart missed a solemn beat...

*..and so my yesteryears stories go on and on..Lol!!!
I miss all my childhood friends from my primary school -Adesuwa obaseki,Ngozi Ashinze,Faith,Owa,Maimunatu,Dupe Ahanmisi..and others! M glad to have had you as friends,and still glad! Kisses N much love.
Meme.
















12 comments:

  1. teleme4:03 pm

    This story has made my day.Meme girl you be real clown!Na real california in Spain..food robot,hahahahahahahah..

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  2. Anonymous4:11 pm

    Awwwwww,beautiful story.I just love you meme.

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  3. Meme.... E don tay when u lyk food...sha!

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  4. Bosco4:22 pm

    Wish that Food robot actually existed.Funny story.Nice 1 too.

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  5. Would love to meet This Ngozi girl mehn!!!Is she married meme?if not hook a brother up now..i need an intelligent Ibo girl for marriage.by the way you're a good writer dear,keep it up.

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  6. Anonymous5:05 pm

    Lovely story darling.Please give us more,it kinda enables us know you better.

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  7. Sunny9:47 pm

    Your story about your childhood experience is hilarious. The 'California in Spain' bit got me rolling in my bed with laughter. It is sweet. Good one dear
    #S#

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  8. Bishop Ray King11:23 pm

    Creatively, funny, childish lies and fantasies, I got some too back then, but ain't as hot as yours dear

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  9. CHARLES5:18 pm

    Hilarious story meme.I like your unique style of writing,please keep it up dear.

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  10. olumese Adesuwa Nee Uzamere9:00 pm

    Meme !osarieme! U took my mind back memory lane chai Ngozi with all her talk!u remember d Finger espisode?btw him N uwagboe?my God does days was fun N d day me N u went to Adesuwa obaseki's house on her birthday?thank u for dis gist cos am stil laughing hahaha californa in Spain

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  11. Hahahahaha@Adesuwa,no be small thing o.

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  12. Meme please give us more stories naa,you narrate them so well I actually feel I was there while it happened.U are indeed talented.

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