Cries from a blog reader,"Help! he says I'm no longer the trim&sexy chic he got married to..."

"Hi Meme,I've been wondering what happened to your blog. I'm glad to see you kicking again. More power to your elbow.
   Honestly I'll appreciate if you put put this up for me there,because I really want to read other people's opinion concerning what I'm going through at the moment.
I've been married for 3years to a very loving man and have two beautiful kids to show for it. When we got married,I was 26 years, and a size 10.. Do you know my husband never told me that it was my figure that attracted me to him the first time? Well,until recently..
  Child bearing has taken its toll on my beautiful body. I'm not proud to say this but I'm size 14 now. My breasts have enlarged thrice their original size,my waist, hips *sigh*
 But I still can't call myself fat! No,I'm not fat, so I just wonder why hubby refuses to acknowledge that i'm still that pretty,sexy chic he got married to. For crying out loud,its his kids I bore that has reshapened my body so!
 In as much as I try to stay sexy,and good in bed, he gets turned off. Just like that. Like a switch. I'm fast losing my head! Who says you only have to be a size 10 to remain cool? Is size 10 the new sexy? Why is he so damn inconsiderate? Okay, I tried to lose some weight. I eat so little, yet my hips won't just reduce a bit. I learnt it had to do with child bearing. I'm beginning to be angry with him. Christ, this is so unfair!
-Blog reader.

*My dear,I feel for you but I think you haven't done enough. Whatever happened to hitting the gym? Burn those calories,and fast! It's a good thing he's pointing this out now. Some men just would not. The next thing you'd probably hear are 'rumours' flying all around you. Remember Men are attracted to what they SEE. My 2cents.
Over to you guys..

Question of the day: Why is there so much love,and yet so little trust?

HUSBAND: Honey, where are you?
WIFE: At home love.
HUSBAND: Are you sure?
WIFE: Yes dearie.
HUSBAND: Turn on the blender.
WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
HUSBAND: Ok my love, I love you.. bye!

(Next day)
Wife: Darling, where are you?
Husband: At home, love.
Wife: Are you sure?
Husband: Yes,honey
Wife: Turn on the blender
Husband: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee

Wife: Ok sweetie, bye.... 

My question of the day is :Why is there so much love, and yet so little trust?

DIARY OF AN OKADA RIDER.

"14 YEARS, BRODA.."
 Jaji didn't almost pull over. Through the rear view mirror of his okada, he sighted the tiny lad who had this somewhat dejected look on his face. For an instant there, he was indecisive as to whether to pick him up or ride on. Nightfall was fast approaching and the growling of his stomach rudely reminded him of a hunger so intense it made him dizzy.
 And then he found himself pulling up by the kerb, beckoning on the boy. A few extra naira notes in his pocket wasn't a bad idea,he thought, as that should take care of two wraps of hot fufu with Egusi soup,one roundabout,one shaki and if he felt like it today -a bottle of cold sprite.
"Wia you dey go?" he demanded impatiently, casting a peek at his wristwatch. 5 minutes past 7pm.
"St Pius' street." The lad promptly answered. His countenance seemed to brighten up immediately.
"Na 250 naira."
"Please, sir. I have just 150 naira on me. You know, I need return home today."
Jaji rolled his eyes. Wetin be my bizness if you no return to ya house?? 
"Time don go,and na night we dey so. Na 250 last. You dey go?" Jaji rasped, stepping on the accelerator lightly.
"W-w-wait! Okay, I'll pay that amount. You just hope Natty boy is home so he can pay my fare back home."
Jaji wondered for the second time why he was telling him all that!
The lad hopped in behind him, and he accelerated away.
 "Sir, please fire this motorcycle now! You're moving kinda slow. Hmmm, if Nathaniel leaves the house before I get there,eh? It won't be funny o. Natty has such a terrible temper,damn! So so impatient, my natty boy! "
 Jaji's eyebrows furrowed.
His ears tingled in the dark.
He pursed his lips and quirked his head sideways, against the howling wind.
"O boy, I dey march the okada as I fit march am reach now. Any speed wey pass dis one,my hand no dey. "
He heard him grumble.
"By the way, who be Natty boy?"
Now, Jaji heard him giggle.
An oncoming truck flashed its full headlights,honking all the way as it advanced towards their side of the road.
"Natty boy -"
"You go hol' dis ya Natty boy story first o, cos dis yeye truck driver don drink ogogoro!" Jaji interjected,manoeuvring his Okada off the way, and by a hair's breadth the truck skidded past them,tilting this way and that,until it vanished out of sight.
"Drunk! That driver must be drunk! Damn, we almost got hit! My Natty would have been so so devastated!"
"Now you fit Nack me the tory of dis ya Natty bobo. Who hin be sef?". Jaji asked, curiosity  getting the better of him now.
"Hmmm, you don't wanna know." There was a smile in his voice. Jaji heard it.
That giggling again.
"Na ya broda?" Jaji prodded.
"Hmmm.. he is more than a brother to me! " He cried,"Much more than a brother could ever be. He's my everything."
Jaji grinned. What affinity they shared, he thought, a bit enviously.
"My best mate, my brother,my confidante, my pillar,my counsellor, my..."
Jaji's grin broadened. He listened as the lad rapped about this Natty fellow, his mind involuntarily wandering to the time before his parents' death, a time when he and his brother Michael were such an inseparable pair. The love. The laughter. The joy of togetherness..
 "..and above all, my lover. "
Jaji's ears twitched.
"I no hear you well,my broda." He was instantly through with the memory lane stuff, eyes rounding now in shock.
He giggled again,and the sound grated on Jaji's nerves.
"Natty boy is my lover." he suddenly stated,a tinge of defiance etching his words.
"You mean...say?Look, I no undastand. Na ya lover, as in, na ya boyfriend??"
"You heard me. "
"My Lord, I neva take my eye see homosexual for my life before oooo..." Jaji shook his head slowly,and unbelievably.
"Oh really?" the lad threw at him coldly.
"Yes nau, I neva see o, na ear I dey take hear."
"Hmmmm.."He shrugged nonchalantly.
"Abeg no vex o, how many years you dey sef?"
"23 next month,November."
"Since when dis Natty begin be ya..ya..boyfriend?" Jaji stuttered, grappling with the handlebar of  the Okada.
"Well, since I was 20!"
"Ewoooo!" Jaji cried in dismay. Instantly he regretted it, for the lad went still behind him and wouldn't say a word.
Obviously the silence was fleeting for he began to speak some moments later, his voice loud and clear,"You do not know anything about being gay. So why don't you lean back and lemme enlighten you?"
Jaji said nothing. He waited.
"Being gay is nothing near what I ever envisaged as a growing kid. It just happened -my attraction to the opposite sex."
Jaji remained silent. He was all ears.
"I had my first experience, I mean my first sexual experience at the age of 13, and it was initiated by my elder brother's friend who came around when no one was home."
The bastard, Jaji seethed inwardly.
"Hmm, it was ugly for me,for a while. I was too ashamed to admit it to anyone. I felt so spoiled, so rotten. I hated my life. I felt abused,and misused. Life was difficult those long nights of tears and
despair... it was bad, my brother."
Jaji's heart went out to that troubled teenager and unconsciously gnashed his teeth.
" Somehow I got over it,and moved on. Bakonle - that was his name- I never saw again. My brother told me he had left the shores of the country for greener pasture overseas. A year passed, 2 years and then I turned 16.."
 Jaji nodded, following the narrative all the way.
" I met this very beautiful girl I was attracted to. I was in my final year in secondary school. We were so in love, and yes, at some point she wanted me to take her virginity.."
So?? Jaji inwardly quizzed.
"I tried to.. to.. get hard."
Silence.
"It wasn't happening. I was as flat as a deflated tyre. I didn't read much to it though,and decided to try again. Still, my manhood wouldn't respond right. It just went placid each time I tried. Angrily I blamed it on Omoye. I told her she wasn't 'girl enough' to 'handle me' and so she left me. Angrily too.
 Same thing happened with the next girl. And the next, next, and the very next. Altogether I decided to give it a rest, and focused on my studies."
 Jaji sighed. He was close to St Pius Street now and the the gist had only just gone juicier!
"Then something happened the year I turned twenty. I met Nathaniel."
Ghen Ghen..
"He seemed to read through my thoughts,"he went on,"He taught me to embrace my sexuality. I don't know how he knew these things, but he just knew them. He showed me that I was a highly sexual person and believe me I fell in love with him. He guided me through the path of discovery.. through the many years of shame and remorse, until I finally accepted who I truly am"
Jaji cringed.
"You see, I didn't choose to be gay. I've always been gay. I was born that way. Natty boy, since then he has become an integral part of my essence. My friend, brother -"
" hold on o.." Jaji put in. He was curving into the bend that led to St pius. "Dem no born you as gay nah. Na dat bastard wey abuse you when you small, na hin begin affect you. Why you no report to ya parents, or ya broda? You suppose undergo psychotherapy nah, dat one for help you -"
"Hush it. I'm good the way I am! Natty Boy is the best that could ever be -" he cut in, with a girlish toss to his head.
""My broda, na 14 years old -" Jaji interrupted, bringing his okada to a halt. They were on St Pius' street now.
"Who cares?! " He burst out furiously. "This government is a joke! Jail me cos I was born this way?!"
 Jaji said to him gently,"I no mind, I go still advise you as my little broda. Life no dey here. Soon, your backside go begin dabaru, and anoda tin,pikin you no go fit born! That one na life?! No. Comot hand
from homosexuality. No road there, moreover God no like that kind-"
"My friend, will you take your dough,and get the hell outta my face?!" He had alighted now,and was shoving the money into Jaji's hand.
" See as you don dry finish like cra-fish..The tin don dry you, no be small. I be even tink say you be about 17 years old! My broda, remember say the law for dis awi country -
  "Muaaaaaah!!!
Oh dear, that was just a swift kiss that landed on Jaji's left cheek. And of course Jaji hadn't seen it coming.
"Did you die? Did it kill -"
  Jaji,like lightening,swiftly swung his fist upward and landed it heavily on his face.
Gbuaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
He yelped, holding his split face with both hands. Jaji swung his fist again. "I no be Danny boy,abi na  Natty dread, you hear! Make thunder fire you!"
  This time he screamed and pivoted on his heels, fleeing into the dark.
Jaji dragged in a ragged breathe. The adventures of an Okada rider! Hardly a day passed he didn't have such uncanny encounters with passengers.
 He was humming the melodious tune of Oritse Femi's 'Double Wahala' song as he made it to Mama Sikirat Canteen a few minutes later.
 Hot fufu, Egusi soup with roundabout and Shaki he ordered but  instead of Sprite, he opted for a cold bottle of Star beer.
Life is sweet.. that was the last thing he thought, as the chilled beer gulped down his throat.

Pure FICTION story Written by Osarhieme Okungbowa.

*Hey guys, Meme is back *huge grin* Who missed me? *side eye*
I have missed you guys silly. Thanks for holding on. All the mails,calls, pings, hmmmm! I really do appreciate. We can still do this, right?
Tell me what you think about Jaji's diary today.. Dis Jaji sef, shey? Hahahaha.. Mr adventure..
Kisses N hugs..
Meme.
 

Meet my "Beauty of the day"

Meet my beauty of the day, pretty Anita Joseph.
Now, sexy's got a name, right?
 Come with me, know her more.. *winks*

Memelyriks : What's your name?
 Name : Anita Nwamaka Chinwe Joseph Nwabufo.

 Memelyriks : You're Ibo? *surprised face*
 Anita :Yeah. I'm from Nsugbe in Anambra. Joseph is my father's first name. Just want to clear the air here. Many people don't know where i'm from. They don't know i'm Ibo.

Memelyriks : occupation?
Anita : Actress. Singer. Model.

Memelyriks :Best meal?
Anita : Afang soup, and Beans& plantain.

Memelyriks : what are your hobbies?
Anita : Love watching movies, reading and shopping *slight laugh*

Memelyriks :what are your TURN ONs?
Anita : kindness,simplicity,Honesty and the fear of God.

Memelyriks : TURN OFFs?
Anita : Lies,pretence,gossip, fakeness.

Memelyriks : motto?
Anita : Work hard, and pray hard. The road might not be easy and smooth now,but eventually it pays off.

Memelyriks: Thanks Anita.
Anita : you're welcome.

*One cool afternoon a few months ago, this lady bounced into my shop, having sighted a lovely dress on a mannequin displayed outside. "How much does this dress cost? " she asked. I looked up and instantly recognised her. Anita Joseph! We hugged. And she literally pulled all the lovely clothes off the hanger and paid for them! Lol. We've kept in touch since then.

See more photos of the stunning actress after the cut :

Diary of an Okada rider.

JOANITA (PART 2)
Click on PART 1 for catch up..

Joanita. Oh no, not again! What worried him wasn't the umpteenth time her name reverberated in his head; what actually worried him silly was the smile that curved his lips and then the sudden tinge of betrayal that accompanied it whenever his mind drifted to her.
   He preferred he thought of her with complete contempt. Yes, she'd played him for a fool or hadn't she? Hold on, what if that 'Americanah' had lied and Joanita really did live in that big house? Perhaps he had merely been playing the part of an irate elder sibling. Yes! That it must be, for Joanita had struck him as thorough bred. Her accent. Composure. Beauty. She was grace personified, in fact.
 A peek at his wristwatch confirmed it was 22 minutes past 4pm. One more passenger and he would retire for the day, he decided inwardly. He had barely finished thinking that when a stout -looking man flagged him down. Gladly Jaji held the brake and halted. Instantly his mind flew to the last wrestling match he'd seen on T.V  -Death Carver versus Hulk T. This man, standing right before him now reminded him of Death Carver the wrestler who had eventually won after mercilessly drawing blood from his opponent.
"Mammy Market road." Death carver croaked. Beady eyes fastened on him, and then on the road. He seemed to be in a hurry.
"Mammy na 100 nia -"
"You say wetin?! " interjected Death carver. Bushy eyebrows drew together in a tight frown. His large nostrils expanded as it twitched humourlessly.
"Oya bring 80 naira Oga -"
The next thing Jaji felt was Death Carver's heavy weight behind him. "Oya move." he spoke into his ears. And Jaji obeyed. The likes of Carver weren't to be disobeyed. Just a punch from that weather-beaten fist, and the hospital bed would be his resting place for several long months!
    Jaji started the Okada and accelerated. Coral city was still very busy with people going about the day's job. Jaji slowed down when an old woman with a walking stick made to cross the road. As she made it to the other side, she turned to him and shrieked, "Bascard! You wanto kee old woman! Bascard! " she waved her walking stick at him before she slowly limped away. Jaji shook his head in confusion. Hadn't he just done that old woman a favour? Maybe she was on the brink of becoming senile!
A car honked behind them. The blaring sound nearly deafened them . Jaji deftly manoeuvred his okada through the narrow space between two colliding cars ahead and zoom, he was back on the road.
"If you catch ya woman dey folo anoda man, wetin you go do? "
Jaji blinked.
"I dey tal' to you." Death Carver poked him hard on the shoulder. Jaji winced.
"You say? Sorry my mind no dey hia. " He quickly responded, quirking his head sideways against the howling wind. He edged nearer Death carver.
" I dey ansk you man-to-man. If  you diskova say ya woman dey folo anoda man, wetin you go do?"
Swiftly Jaji replied," I go leave am kia kia! I no fit stand a cheating woman."
Death Carver grunted.
"What if you love the woman well well, dat one nko?" he seemed dissatisfied with jaji's answer.
"Hmm, oga na to find ya way beta pass. Once woman begin cheat on you, truth no go dey dat relationship again."
" You neva undastand the tin wey dey happen! " Death Carver sounded desperate now. Jaji was surprised to hear his croaky voice break.
"My lady, my woman, dey folo anoda man. And dis yeye man kon get money! Na dat one pain me pass. Hin na big man for oyibo company. Na dem dey fly Eroplane. Eroplane. Na dem. The tin dey pain me, cos I don suffer folo Agnes. Wetin I neva do for Agnes? Tell me. I don pay for salon wia she dey learn work, I don put her broda for wia hin dey learn mecanic, for Chi&Chi workshop -hope you sabi how much dem dey pay dia??! A whole 20 thousand naira, na hin I pay for settlement. Abi na the house I rent for Aggy? I pay for one room, furnish am for Aggy and her broda. I buy radio,television, pressing Iron, carpet, Big vita foam, cooking stove. I buy am wetin go mek her feel alrite. Yet Aggy begin folow big man wey dey work for oyibo company -" he trailed off.
 Jaji was shocked to hear the almost inaudible sob coming from the hefty passenger!
 The power of a woman.
He didn't know how to console this man.
He rode on, speechless.
 But when Death Carver dragged a ragged breathe, Jaji's heart went out to him.
"Oga sorry for ya loss - "
"Which loss?! Which loss?! " Death Carver barked, rudely interrupting him, "Thunder fire you!" his voice rose a note higher. " Abeg drop me from dis ya smelling bike! Dem tell you say Aggy lost? Dem tell you say I go lose Aggy! Come on, drop me mek I com down hia, you dey crase for head. Enemy of progress! " he thundered.
" Oga I no mean say -"
Powwwwwww!
Jaji felt the sting of a slap right on his back. Suddenly he stepped on the brake and the furious passenger alighted. His eyes blazed fire and brimstone.
He was lifting his hand upward again. Whether it was to take out money from his breast pocket, or in readiness for another resounding slap, Jaji wouldn't stay to find out. He veered off and a few seconds later threw his head backward in laughter. From the rear view mirror he saw Death Carver murmur and probably curse life for being so unfair.
..to be continued.
Written by Osarhieme Okungbowa.

*Death Carver! Lol..
Jaji sef..hian!
Hope you guys enjoyed this Joanita story? Surely it will continue tomorrow. Remember Jaji is yet to find her. And trust me, he will. Lemme get to hear from you guys, okay?
Kisses N hugs..
Meme.

Love gone sour! -Blog visitor reveals shocking details of her marriage.

Hey guys. Remember I told you I got loads of unpublished mails from blog readers? One at a time i'll begin to put them up,okay?
Here's one mail  which has a ring of urgency to it.  Please, please read and offer a word or two of advise. Thank you.

"Hey Meme. Please put this up in your blog as I would love to read what others have to say concerning my predicament.
 Ever heard of the word "Nemesis"?
 Nemesis is when you love a man so much that you want him all to yourself, and when he doesn't love you in return,you go to a witch doctor who prepares love charms for him to love you back, and upon time the charms boomerangs and hits you squarely ; Nemesis is when you're helpless and there seems to be no possible solution to the evil that has befallen you.
I met my husband december last year at a friend's birthday party. Immediately I set my eyes on him I fell hopelessly in love. But his eyes never seemed to leave my friend the celebrant, even for a second. It was obvious he was tripping for Dupe. I became extremely envious. Who wouldn't? She had it all going for her : Beauty, brains and Men. Of course she was very beautiful and already in a serious relationship, so why wouldn't he simply turn his stare to my direction? Why would he continue to make a fool of himself by his fixated look on her? I wasn't ugly per se, and I was no dullard in comparison.
Before the end of the party, somehow I got him engaged in a convo and we exchanged phone numbers. One thing soon led to the other and we became lovers.
    It was no fairytale kinda love. There were no promises, no vows, no nothing. Except of course a wild explosion in bed which always left us panting for breathe.
I remember always crying after we made love and he left afterwards without an endearment. I remember wishing he would say those three words. I patiently waited. And waited. But they never did come.
 I became desperate. Very desperate. I permanently needed him in my life, come what may.
I began to read books on how to win your man. I went by the books, but nothing happened. If anything, it set us poles apart from each other.
 Then one day Sam told me it was over. Just like that. I begged and begged and cried my eyes sore but he wouldn't bulge. He said he wasn't in love with me and couldn't continue the relationship anymore.
As he left my house that night without a backward glance at my weeping form, I made up my mind to
visit Baba Adim.
 Baba Adim the witch doctor instructed me to put charms in his food which I did. It was like a scene out of a Nigerian movie : He turned abruptly to me after a mouthful and exclaimed, "I love you Taiye!"
 That was the beginning of our love affair.
It was a beautiful love affair, I tell you. Everything was working fine. We got married shortly and I became pregnant for him.
 Then the unexpected happened just two days ago. Sam woke up at midnight and shoved me hard on the chest. "Wake up woman! "
"Baby.."
Before I could mutter anything else, I was flung like a wooden doll, out the bed.
" Sam! " I yelled, my head connecting to the hard floor tiles.
"When did I get married to you? When?! "
" Sam, what has come over you? " I shrieked as he advanced towards me menacingly.
I wasn't quick enough to duck. His fist landed on my chin. I was given the beating of my life.
 Sam left the house that night and never returned.
Now i'm eight months gone and all alone. Truth is I still love Sam so much. What do I do now? Why wouldn't he love me? Why?

*Forget about him. Nemesis has even been kind to you. You might not be this lucky next time. Let true love always win. My 2cents.
Over to you guys.

Do you find this tempting enough to taste?

One man's meat they say is another's poison, right? Lol.
  This display of barbecue meat might be yuck to you,while someone out there is probably salivating over it *huge grin*
 Who amongst you digs snake meat? I heard it's tasty, infact very tasty but honestly i'm not sure i'll be tasting it anytime soon o.
 Lemme get to hear from you.

Diary of an Okada rider.

JOANITA.

Jaji scratched his head,his finger nails digging deep into his scalp. With one hand he wiped the beads of perspiration that had formed circles around his eyebrows.
"You're asking after...?" The man in the Honda Crv eyed him impatiently before his eyes reverted to the gate. He blasted the car horn long and hard,obvious annoyance etching his face.
"Sir, i'm looking for Joanita,sir."
"Joan - who? Are you outta your fucking mind? Huh? No one by that fucking name lives in this fucking house! If you and your motor cycle don't get the hell outta my fucking sight this fucking moment,Man, i'll get real mad at ya! " The Crv man spat.
 Jaji stared at the obese-looking creature sitting on the driver's side, and thought to himself,you fucking pig! If to say no be abroad you fucking go, You for get levels? Even with dis my Okada work, if dem put me and you for ground na me dem go fucking choose, put you inside fucking cage! Fucking Idiot.." 
   But Jaji kept mute and turned on the ignition of his Okada instead. He stepped on the accelerator and fired away.
Joanita. Joanita. Her name reverberated on his mind as he skidded through the streets of Coral city in search of passengers. How could she have given him a fake house address? He shook off the feeling of hurt and betrayal as his mind tumbled back to the previous day he'd first encountered her. It was raining around mid-day and she stood there like an angel, so heart-crushingly beautiful...and drenched! And she wouldn't take shelter nearby. His eyes were drawn to the shape of the gorgeous mounds on her chest which seemed to stare right at him defiantly. Quickly he moved his gaze to her oval face. Oh goodness, she had the most beautiful face he had ever set his eyes on!
" Hello Angel. Why are you standing in the rain? You should have found a place to take shelter."
 At once Jaji's command in English language was auto-set. Instinctively he knew her type : The type to listen to a well spoken man, irrespective of his looks.  Dammit, he was an Okada man but had experienced the 4 walls of a classroom, hadn't?
Had his parents lived, he would be a graduate today...
 Well,now wasn't the time to dwell on the past. He shrugged his broad shoulders and went on, "Please Angel, get on my motorcycle. I need to get you out of the rain. "
 She hesitated.
"Please.."
Jaji momentarily thought that he was even prepared to stand in the rain should she decline the offer to go with him.
He saw the moment she wordlessly conceded and he shifted his frame to accommodate her behind him.  A few seconds later he was riding them to a nearby Eatery & Bar. When they got there,he assisted her in alighting and preceded her in. He pulled out two seats and gestured at her to sit on one of them. She smiled and muttered 'thank you' under her breathe. Now,Jaji's eyes took in all of her. If he had thought her beautiful before he had probably been wrong. No adjective quite described the goddess sitting by his side now. Without thinking, he took off his denim shirt and offered her.
"No, thank you. I'm perfectly O.K."
"Come on, Angel -"
"My name is Joanita."
He tested the name on her lips. It sounded exotic.
"You see,rain drops on my body feels like heaven. I have always loved the rain." she lowered her eyelids demurely.
"Really?" he found that somewhat interesting.
She nodded. "Right from when I was a kid."
"Hey Miss! Please come." Jaji took his eyes away from her for a moment to beckon on a hovering waiter.
"Good afternoon sir. Good afternoon Ma. What do you care for?" The waiter. She wouldnt even spare a glance at him. Her full gaze was intently on Joanita's bosom, unblinking.
Oh, he had nearly forgotten. Her nipples were still arrogantly taut in that wet T-shirt.
"Joanita? " He touched her lightly on the arm.
"I don't want anything. I'm fine. Thank you."
"Come on Angel. Anything on me."
"I'm not hungry."
"I insist."
Joanita rolled her eyes. Her chin lifted and then she started to reel out her order."I want 2 portions of fried rice, roast chicken - yeah I like drumsticks,3 drumsticks please..with fried plantain. Make sure it's very ripe plantain. Is there Salad? " The waiter nodded in the positive. "Good. Include 2 portions of Salad with plenty cream.."
Jaji's heart sank.
 He heard her continue to order. Goodness, did angels eat this much?! Thought she said she wasn't hungry?  If only he knew,he wouldn't have persisted. Now she had literarily bore a hole in his pocket!
"..and a glass of Chapman. " she concluded with a bright smile.
"Sure. " Jaji swallowed, returning the smile.
"Sir, what d'you want? " 'twas the waiter again.
"Give me just a bottle of water."
"Is that all, sir? " was it amusement he saw lurking around her lips?
"Yes."
"I forgot to ask your name," began Joanita, once the waiter took her leave.
"I'm Jaji."
"Jaji? Such an unusual name. But I like it." Her smile was infectious.
"Thank you." Jaji found himself smiling with her, instantly forgetting the hole in his pocket.
The meal arrived a few minutes later.
He sipped his glass of water and watched her swallow each spoonful of food gingerly. She was so beautiful, he thought. Goodness, Joanita was worth every dime he had.
  Half an hour later they stepped out of the eatery with her address scribbled in a piece of paper and neatly tucked inside his breast pocket. He dropped her off by Railway junction and promised to visit the next day.
 "Oga you no dey see? Carry ya Okada yansh face dat side nah! " bellowed a taxi driver from behind him. Jaji's thoughts rudely returned from memory lane.
" Make you carry ya motor head face dat side too! " Jaji retorted angrily.
Joanita. Joanita.
He wished he wouldn't think of her as he manoeuvred his way through the traffic at Coral junction.
And then a midget flagged him to a halt. " where you dey go?" he asked.
"I no stop you o. "
"You say wetin? " And then Jaji saw he was cross-eyed.
Midget. Crossed eyes. Hmmm... only you? Jaji seethed inwardly and screeched away.
To be continued.
Written by Osarhieme Okungbowa.

*Hey guys, hope you had a wonderful read? Will continue shortly. Tell me what you think.. looking forward to hearing from you.







 

Check out this new song from Fuse ODG titled,'I need Jollof'

This latest song has surfaced from Ghanaian born U.K based Afrobeats artist, Fuse ODG who just released his music video for his Sean Paul featured track titled 'Dangerous' 

 'I need Jollof' is produced by  Killbeatz.

Listen and tell me what you think.

00:00

03:51

DOWNLOAD Fuse ODG – I Need Jollof

'Mad woman' caught with 3-year-old dead child in Lagos.

A woman pretending to be a mad woman in the early hours of today,20th of July was caught with a corpse of a boy believed to be about 3 years old in a 'Ghana must go' bag on the Mile2 bridge in Lagos. She was stopped by a police officer, who demanded to see what she had in the bag and he found the corpse and other charms inside. She was promptly arrested and carted away.
What a cruel world we live in. The heart of some people sha! I just can't. 

Arrrrgh..! Lady spills on Ifeoma Okoye's instagram -alleges that Jude is cheating on her..

When a bride is truly happy that she's finally tied the nuptials, she's ecstatic to the extent that she gushes about it, right? And so Jude Okoye's new bride took to her instagram page to do just this.. and guess what?Some lady won' let her be! She shows up from nowhere and spills disparaging comments! Arrghhhh, not nice at all.
Check them out :-

Her IG posts continue after the cut....

Check out Yvonne Nelson's sunday outfit. You likey?

The beautiful Ghanaian actress,Yvonne Nelson took to Instagram today to share some lovely photos of herself. You like? Me, I do! And i'm particularly eyeing that wrangler. 

Breaking : Adamawa Bribery allegation - Security agencies may go after APC leaders.

  Security agencies may go after some national leaders of  All Progressives Congress (APC), on allegation of an attempted  bribe offered Adamawa State House of Assembly members in a bid to stall the impeachment move against the impeached governor, Murtala Nyako.

  A top government official who spoke to select journalists Sunday in Abuja on the condition of anonymity, said except the leaders of APC desist from pointing fingers at President Goodluck Jonathan of being behind Nyako’s travail, security agencies may go after them to explain their roles in an alleged bribery attempt to the lawmakers to stave off the impeachment. 
  According to reports from This Day, the top government official told journalists that  both the government and security agencies were in possession of information linking the APC leaders to the alleged criminal act. According to him, intelligence report indicated that an APC governor from the North and the one from the South, made the inducement offer of N250m each to the Adamawa State lawmakers to jettison the impeachment move against Nyako.
*source -This day.

Oh dear..Kate Henshaw's 'frenemies' cuss her political ambition on twitter.

Popular Actress, Kate Henshaw who recently declared her intention to contest for the federal house of representatives for Calabar municipal/Odukpani Constituency under the axis of the PDP has been cussed out on twitter for declaring political ambition under PDP!
 Check out tweets after the cut :

Christiano Ronaldo reveals why his bod is inkless.

In a recent interview with spanish Radio, Cadena Cope, the football star revealed the reason why he had no tatts.

The football star says his efforts to help children conquer debilitating diseases by donating his blood leaves him no choice but to go ink-less.

"I don’t have tattoos because I donate blood very often," he said, while also taking the time to share a photo on his Facebook page that showed him donating at a hospital. 

That doesn't end there. The Real Madrid FC sportsman also donates bone marrows to kids inspired by a teammate's son's struggles.

"It was the time when Carlos [Martins] was with us on the national team. He told us about the problem with his son and we, the players, showed great unity to help him and his son because we knew it was a very complicated situation.' Donating bone marrow 'is something a lot of people think is a difficult thing to do but it’s nothing more than drawing blood and doesn't hurt.’ "It doesn’t cost anything," he added. "It’s a simple process and then you feel happy because you know you are helping another person." He said.

Hurray! Sola Kosoko welcomes baby girl.

 Actress Sola Kosoko Abina (daughter of popular Nigerian actor,Jide Kosoko welcomed her bundle of joy yesterday July 19th in the U.S, July 19th. Mother and daughter are said to be hale and hearty.

Thank God for safe delivery. 

Hey,lest I forget -I find some striking resemblance between her and Bukky wright. You see it too,right? Or is it just me?

Caption this photo.

Hehehe..some ingenuity on display,right?

Question of the day : Between your Mum and your child,Whom would you rescue first in a fire outbreak?

Choi! This is a tough one I guess. I love my mum so much and can do virtually anything for her. And my child, hmmmmm( though i'm yet to bear one) i'll love him/her to the moon and back.
I'm still thinking o.#scratchingmyhead#  But before I finally arrive at my final answer, lemme read yours.

JERICHO. (Fiction Story) PART ONE.

"Jericho!" Aju bellowed,deep lines of constricted veins etching her slender neck. "Jericho!" She called again,advancing towards where the sleeping child lay on the raffia mat. She was fuming in annoyance now,repressing the urge to strike her.
The sleeping girl murmured something incoherent in her sleep and wouldn't bulge. Instead, she positioned her head in a more comfortable angle and continued to snore softly.
"Je-ri-cho!" Aju impatiently made to shove her now but stopped midway as Obuh in that croaky voice of his commanded her to a halt. "Don't you wake Jeriko! Leave her, woman! "
Aju's hand slowly dropped as she rounded on her husband angrily,"Why wouldn't I wake the foolish girl who dreams and sees all sorts of foolish visions?! Tell me, Obuh. The dishes are dirty and have not been washed! No melon has been split today! The yams have not been stacked in the barn ! The chickens haven't been fed! Yet you would rather leave her to snore away!"
Obuh stared hard at his wife and the corner of lips tilted lopsidedly. It was hard to decipher if he were amused or angry now. "You know how those dreams have helped us in the past. Let her dream,Aju. Leave the child to fetch news from the gods. Not everyone is blessed by the gods to hear and see things! " He brushed past her and went out.
Aju bristled in anger. One more look at the girl and she was sure to strangle her and face the consequences. Mustering all the willpower she could,she moved away from her, gnashing her teeth and cursing the day they found the orphan child by the river bank ten years ago. If only she hadn't been moved by the wailing infant whose face was covered with blood; the sight of the twisted umbilical cord that was unevenly severed. She remembered the moment the shrieking child had seemed to stare right through her soul,her small half-closed eyes fixated on her. It was never easy to forget the gush of maternal instincts she felt the moment the she quietened and somewhat seemed to angle towards her bosom! It was a warm feeling. The beauty of it was awesome.. Well, until she began to grow into some sort of clairvoyant being!
Yes, she had been barren and had incessantly cried to the gods for a child. Yes,she was eventually remembered by the gods and blessed with the most beautiful child in the whole village, but oh, how she hated that psychic streak that had become a part of her. And gradually she'd come to detest the child passionately.
"Papa! Papa! " cried Jericho. Obuh heard the frantic cry of his daughter and rushed back into the hut.
"You're awake my daughter.." He reached for her and held her in his arms. A trickle of tear flowed from her eyes as she pulled away from him. She wiped her face with the back of her hand,holding her father's stare intently.
And then Obuh noticed that she was far from being upset. Was it a smile he saw lurking around her lips?
"Tell me about your vision,child.." he urged.
She smiled now, her eyes lighting up as she did. She was such a beautiful child. Obuh's chest tightened with so much love for his daughter and on impulse stretched out his arms. Wordlessly she rushed in and held on to him."Mama will have a son." She said softly.
Obuh pulled back.
He blinked his eyes,forehead furrowing in a slight frown.
" Come on,tell me about it." His voice was huskier now.
"In this dream I saw Mama carrying a baby. He had the most beautiful eyes. There she sat under the moonlight,playing with him. It was a boy, Papa. A big boy..." She trailed off,her eyes staring into empty space,her mind capturing what she had envisoned. Jericho swallowed as she went on,"He bore a striking resemblance to you, papa. He had long hands and long legs,just like you. Mama was so happy. She played with him. She laughed with him. Everyone was happy. "
"Go,child! Go tell your mother what you have seen." He urged.
Jericho hesitated. She knew how upset her mother was over her ceaseless visions.
"Go child. She will be happy over this!"
Jericho slowly went in search of her mother and found her at the backyard feeding the chickens.
"I can see you have finally woken up! Right now go and fetch some water from the stream. Afterwards you wash the plates." Aju said as she sighted her hovering nearby.
"Mama, I had a dream -" Jericho began gently.
"Will you shut up! Who is interested in your stupid and cursed dreams??! Me? "
"Mama..."
Aju took a menacing step forward and Jericho fled her presence fast as her legs would carry her.
"Stupid child. If it she isn't dreaming of one death or the other, she's dreaming of snake bites. Harbinger of doom! Who cares if she dreamed I even bore a child! Nonsense..."
She went back to the task of feeding the chickens that were clucking now in delight.
To be continued.
 Written by Osarhieme Okungbowa.
And yes, it's pure fiction! *hugesmile*

Who missed me??! *side-eye smiley*

Hey sweeries, who missed me here?! Lol.
Well, I did, and so badly too.
 How have you guys been anyways?
Mere apologies ain't enough to express how deeply sorry I am for been away for too long..Jeez, for far too long!
    All the same I need let you know how sorry I am. Was so pretty occupied with this, that, and everything and honestly it's not been an easy road but i'm thankful for the gift of life; thankful still that I got you guys. The amazing mails, text messages, pings,and all.. wow! Nothing compares to you my darlings.
  And YES, we can still do this.
Kisses N hugs..
Meme.

"I'm crushing dangerously on my boss!" -blog reader cries.

Got this mail from an ardent blog reader. You know what we do and how we do..... read and drop a word or two of useful counsel.
  Thanks y'all..

"I'm so so angry with myself. I feel i've failed in my duty as wife and mother. How can a responsible mother of 5 kids,a woman married for 11 years,a deaconess in the body of christ, leader in the women's arm of the ministry in church,a respectable accountant in the bank where she works, be crushing on her boss?
 Sounds weird,right? But true.
I didn't just see Mr Fola Williams for the  first time and start visualising myself in bed with him; nor did I see his dashing smile and fantasize falling recklessly for him. Don't know the exact point it started,this mad crush. Can't recall the moment I began to crave his nearness. But it just happened. Now he has got me hooked on him.
I would be telling a lie if I said  he made any form of sexual advances towards me. Honestly nothing of the sort has ever ensued. He always had a warm smile for everyone,a friendly word and if he had reasons to chastise anyone in the office,it was always done firmly,yet kindly.
My husband isn't bad man,in fact he's a very wonderful person. So you can see why I feel terrible that I harbour strange feelings for my boss.
Truth is I want to screw my boss so bad.
Truth is I want that bulgy biceps around me.
I want that smooth lips of his on mine.
 Okay,I think I can almost hear you say,"slut!"...but please don't be quick to judge me. I haven't been a promiscuous woman. All the time I've been married,I've stayed faithful. Never before now have I spared a thought for another man,talk less of my boss in the office. Well,until now I suppose.
 Thoughts of my boss keep me awake at night.
If only he knew he had such effect on my senses..or did he have a clue that this woman,I mean this rather devoted and efficient accountant was consumed by a wanton desire to have him?
 It's eating me up each day. I don't want to cheat on my hubby,yet I'm gradually succumbing to the desire to sleep with my boss.
Hold on,who amongst you has ever experienced this kinda stuff? Be honest. You are in love with your partner yet you want to taste another,feel another. Does this have to do with the fact my hubby married me a virgin? This craving,I mean...is it because I really didn't actually exploit my sexuality as a growing woman before I got married?
 I'm looking forward to hearingy from you all. Thank you.
*Worried wife*


* Deep sigh.. okay guys let's do this!

Maheeda shares new raunchy photos of herself.

This chic ain't playing o..

See more photos after the cut :