"Do As I Say" (Continuation) Part 2
For those of who missed out on the first read, Click on
Part 1 and then join us to read this scintillating piece of Jaji's Diary,part 2.
The Shepherd bid them farewell in that shrill voice of his and watched them ride away. His face broke into a wide grin,thinking now that he had secured the week's feeding allowance for his wife Ramatu and their set of twins who lived in a one room apartment in the outskirt of the city.
Oh boy,it wasn't easy playing the role of the so-called shepherd where he had to spend long hours 'meditating' by the River side and suffering the night's malicious chills. Whoever said life was easy? It was for the fittest! He fingered the wads of naira notes in his pocket and stepped into the hut.
Meanwhile Jaji who was sitting behind Famous now,shifted uncomfortably. "Famous,mek you sofri speed na.. Chief no dey run!" Jaji voiced his discomfort as his friend marched hard on the accelerator. Fear gripped him when he skidded past an oncoming truck almost recklessly.
"You too fear Jaji,wetin sef? Remember say Shepherd say mek we go there immediately! I no wan hear say this 'Do as I say' holy water no com work,i go really vex for you! So mek you sofri tanda mek I ride dis Okada kia kia!" he threw behind him,increasing his speed.
Jaji rolled his eyes and stayed silent. There was no doubt Famous was a complete Idiot,or was there another name for someone as naive as he?
However they soon arrived Chief Akindele's premises and Famous turned off the ignition of his Okada. Swiftly he got down and out of his trouser pocket brought the white plastic bottle. He uncovered it and splashed the liquid content on his head and eyes and then rinsed his mouth with it too. Jaji watched on,a trifle amused. "You no take some of the holy water tek wash ya hands?" Jaji put in mockingly. If Famous detected the hint of mockery he wouldn't acknowledge it as he went on to guggle his mouth vigorously
"Why not?Incase I need to touch am nah." Famous proceeded to wash both hands with the 'holy water'. Fully satisfied he was thoroughly cleansed for favour,he handed the bottle over to him. Jaji shook his head in the negative and wouldn't touch it.
"Hmmm, Jaji you dey play with ya destiny........." he trailed off,shaking his head in pity. He threw the now empty bottle away and preceded Jaji to the gate. With a confidence quite alien to Jaji,he pressed the bell and the 'boucer' janitor rushed out.
"We wan see Chief!" Famous spoke,holding his eyes unblinkingly.
"You say?" He asked,his eyebrows quirking in surprise.
"You don hear me nah,just open ya gate at once." He shot an angry look at him.
Immediately the gate slid open and Famous turned to his friend with the 'I-told-you-so!" expression,and a little smile hovering around his lips. He marched like a soldier into the Visitor's room and positioned himself on a seat,one hand tapping a stool impatiently. The 'bounce' disappeared into one of the rooms and reappeared. " This way," he said and led them into Chief Akindele's private apartment. The 'bouncer' hurriedly took his leave afterwards.
Chief Akindele was sitting on his collapsible chair,same glazy expression on his face. He seemed not to recognize them as he sniffed and sniffed and chewed on something.
"Well done sir! " Famous saluted.
"Evening Sir." Jaji bowed his head slightly. His eyes ran through the near-wasted form of Chief. Oh my goodness,this man was high! He looked at the table close by and saw a lighter, syringe-like objects which appeared burned at the tip. Now he began to perceive the acrid smell in the air. The little experience he acquired in the streets recognised the syringe-like objects and knew they were referred to as "Stem" and Christ,had Chief stemmed his system with cocaine!
"Yes?" Chief croaked. He wrinkled his nose and continued to sniff.
"Chief,na the job we want! Na you talk am say mek we com today! You musto giv us the job. "
"Job? " Chief closed his eyes for long seconds and then shook his head. "Oh yes.. the job."
"Chief,our salary go be hundred thousand naira each! And you go dey give us weekly maintenance allowance. Aside this,you go dey pay our house rent too,abi how you see am?' he momentarily turned to Jaji who stood perplexed and short of words.
"You..will..get the job.." Chief spoke.
"You say? " Famous paused and his eyes widened in surprise.
"The job..I say you will get.. it. But he..he.." Chief trailed off,pointing at Jaji.
"What about am Chief?" Famous demanded.
"No.. job..for him. Vacancy is.. for one....."
Famous excitedly turned to his friend and said," You see why you for listen to me make you wash your head? Now I don get the job but your stubborness no allow you do as I talk. No wahala sha,i go dey find you small small thing wen better don dey enta hand,you hia! So make you dey go house. I don start work be dat. After I close I go pass tru ya house to give you the lowdown of every every -"
"But wait o,i no fit leave you here o." Jaja interrupted. "Dis man na real psychro-chro o! No be joke -"
"Dat one do! " Famous cut in angrily. "My shepherd no dey lie. You don hear am,mek you waka."
"Famous!"
"No 'famous' me! You don hia am,bye bye."
Jaji took his leave without a backward glance at his friend. He was so angry now.
He trekked home for he had no dime on him. Immediately he stepped into his room he flung himself on his mattress and sighed deeply. He was still very angry when sleep took him.
Back in Chief Akindele's house, Famous was sitting on one Chief's collapsible chairs now. He was reeling out how much was to be paid to him today when Chief stood and reached for his lighter and stem.
"Chief siddon dia! I say siddon mek you hia the money wey you go pay me today! "
Chief staggered slightly and moved towards him.
"Chief, I say siddon! "
Chief edged nearer,a malicious glint in his bloodshot eyes now.
"I say -"
Gbbbbbboooooooooooaaaaaah!
A thunderous slap descended on his face and the collapsible chair collapsed on the floor! Chief Akindele towered above him now,sizing him up as a cat would a rat. With one hand he picked up the lanky Famous and shoved him across the room like a doll.
"Chief,Chief! " It was the 'bouncer'. He had rushed in when he heard the noise.
"Jide,get that..that..thing right here!" Chief Akindele moved towards the sprawled form of a gasping Famous.
"You..you dare try to..to..use charms on me?!"
Yes,Chief still appeared somewhat disoriented but it occured to Famous now that he hadn't been that 'high' as he had portrayed. And goodness,the "Do as I say" holy water had failed him! Oh dear...
Jide the bouncer picked him up and dropped him before Chief who kicked him mercilessly.
"Chief,I beg..i beg..no kill me! Na devil work abeg. Na my Shepherd deceive me. Chief I beg.."
"How dare you..you come here to..." He faltered in his steps and gripped the table for balance.
"Take this bastard to the guard room and lock....". Chief passed out.
"I beg bros,i beg..." Famous turned pleading eyes to the bouncer.
"Yeye dey smell! Omo yoruba, a whole Chief na hin you wan tek "touch and folo" tek catch??! You be real yeye fowl! ". The bouncer berated him. "Now before I open eye mek you Vamoose sharp sharp! " Without sparing a second glance at the shivering form of the man,he turned to Chief and began to gently nudge him.
Famous scurried away before he changed his mind.
He rode straight home and went to bed after taking some pain reliever tablets.
The next morning it was a resounding knock on the door that woke him. He tried to get up but his bones hurt and he fell back on the bed with a loud groan.
"Na me Jaji,open now. "
With all the strength he could muster he stood and moved to open the door.
"Heeeeeeey,see ya face?! Wetin happen??! " Jaji cried when he saw his friend's battered face.
"Hmmm.." Famous looked away and remained silent.
"Na Chief go do you dis thing -"
"I beg after I strong small you go carry me go visit dat yeye shepherd." was all he said before he limped back into the room.
Jaji hid a smile as he followed his friend.
Written by Osarhieme Okungbowa.
*Thank God i've finally concluded this 'Do As I say' Diary. Lol..
Hope you guys enjoyed it.
Lemme know wha' you think, k?
Hugs N kisses..
Meme.
